Ask John

John Corbett has begged me to let him write a recurring advice column, so here we go. You can send your questions directly to him at satcsuckit@yahoo.com. I gave him a couple to get the thing kicked off, and tried to clean up his spelling the best I could.

Dear John,
In your opinion, which was the most fun time we've had together?
Ever, Ben

Hey Ben-dawg,
"Dear"? "Ever"? Man, you are one formal cat. I hope we can keep this thing a bit more loosey-goosey around here. Anyway, the most fun time we've had together? That's a tough 'un. We've had some good times in the last couple weeks, ever since you talked trash about me. In fact, the time I got you back was probably our funnest time together. I'll bet you didn't expect to find me, buck nekkid, in your foyer!

J/K. Nah, I would say the most fun was when I was in New York last week for the Pope's visit, and we met up at Bryant Park and did some impromptu parkour.

Westhoff after three RedBulltinis

I'm still sore!
Love, JC

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Dear John,
Be honest. Did you ever do Kate Hudson?
Best, Ben

Huden? Oh shit! You had to go there, didn't you. I should have known you would pull something like this after our game of "Truth Or Dare" when you made me confess that I didn't didn't get my first blow job until I was 36. (I still don't like 'em.)

But I probably shouldn't say anything, because real gentlemen don't kiss and tell when they get all YouPorn on each other's rear ends. So let me just say that Huden is a very nice girl will some very interesting tattoos around her inner-crotchal region.

Tattoos not shown

I'm still sore!
Love, JC

That's all for this edition. Remember to send John your questions at satcsuckit@yahoo.com. If he doesn't answer them here, he may write you back personally.